• Respect and follow the principles and guidelines of the Collaborative Law
  approach.
• Clearly express your concerns, goals, objectives, needs and interests.
• Take responsibility for the outcome of the issues discussed in the
  process.
• Treat all participants in the process with respect.
• Treat the process concerns and needs of the other party with respect.
• Commit to the fullest development of choices and alternatives.
• Do not diminish or belittle any person’s efforts to contribute to the development of choices and alternatives.
• Listen for the purpose of seeking to understand the other party and not necessarily to agree with that person’s perspective.
• Respect the beliefs and values of the other party, regardless if you
  disagree with them.
• Respect the other party’s concerns, goals, objectives, needs and
  interests as expressed in the collaborative process.
• Help to develop the information that is available in the process by
  providing full, honest disclosure.
• Not react to the other party’s interests and desired outcomes with
  criticism and judgment.
• Discuss interests, concerns and needs and not positions.
• Take responsibility for your own emotions and behaviour.
• Speak only for yourself by using “I” statements.
• Not use language about the other party that is critical, judgmental,
  accusatory, blame-oriented, sarcastic or inflammatory.
• Not make assumptions about the concerns, goals, objectives, needs and
  interests of the other party.
• Use effective communication skills modeled in the collaborative process.
• Let go of past frustrations in order to have a clear view of future
  possibilities.
• Actively listen to all people who participate in the collaborative process, listening is not thinking about the next thing you are going to say while someone else is speaking.
• Remember the goal of achieving mutually acceptable and beneficial outcomes for both parties.
• Work with the “team” in order to maximize settlement options and outcomes.
• Work toward achieving an enduring solution by ensuring that the solution is accepted and supported by both parties.
• Not take advantage of the mistakes of any person in the process.
• Not intentionally delay the process in order to obtain perceived benefits.
• Express your concerns and needs about the process where the collaborative process is not meeting those concerns or needs.
• Commit to meet all time frames agreed to within the process.
• Be responsible to ensure open, ongoing communication with your lawyer.
• Not threaten or be aggressive toward the other party in any manner whatsoever.
• Not threaten the use of a litigation process.
• Seek to understand your legal position on all issues by seeking information and communicating with your lawyer.
• Understand that conflict can be resolved cooperatively without any person in the conflict having to give up their concerns, goals, objectives, needs and interests.
• Not seek to make the other party “wrong” on an issue in order to be “right”.
• Be open to hearing concerns, goals, objectives, needs and interests of the other party which you may not have been aware of or heard before.
• Recognise the futility of arguing.
• Remember you have the right to say “No” to anything that is not acceptable to you.
• Respect that the other party has the right to say “No” to anything that is not acceptable to him or her.
• Measure the value of anything that you do or say within the process by asking whether it is effective in advancing you to your desired goals or outcomes.
• Be aware of how a comment or behaviour may result in a negative response in the other party, which will reduce the effectiveness of your communication.
• Remember that there is little that the lawyers in the collaborative process can contribute to old differences that you will never agree upon.
• Remember that your concerns, goals, objectives, needs and interests are not more valid if you spend time comparing them to the other party’s.
• Remember inadequate information and ineffective communication prevent agreement:
  • Information requires the gathering of facts;
  • Facts require evaluation and analysis;
  • Evaluation and analysis reveal options;
  • Options allow the development of solutions;
  • Multiple solutions require negotiations;
  • Negotiations require effective communication;
  • Effective communication creates agreement; and,
  • Agreement resolves conflict.
• Believe that you have the power to obtain adequate information and have
  effective communication.
  

I have reviewed the Process Guidelines stated above. I agree with the
principles expressed in the Guidelines and I shall at all times in the
collaborative process seek to apply and follow the Guidelines. I
acknowledge and request that the lawyers in the collaborative process
support my applying and following these Guidelines by informing me when I am
not doing so.